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What kind of girl I want to be?

27 August 2017

Hi there~
Today is another day I'm thankful for. 
I can breath and feel happy with my not so perfect life. Lately, I stumbled upon documentaries video regarding the poor family in Phillipines on YouTube and can't stop myself from watching those videos. It's so sad to see the kids go to work just for their snacks and to feed other younger siblings. They just up to 9 years old, which is for me is craziest! It's make me flashback about my childhood in rural Sarawak. My life as a kid is not bad as the kids I saw in those videos but I'm struggling too. Fortunately, my parent always make the education is number one. No matter how hard it is, no money in our pocket, keep going and never give up! I still remember the day I went to market with my bananas and sell it there because I want to buy 'selipar jepun' and some snacks also I remember there's sometimes I'm helping my mother selling vegetables in the street whenever my semester break.Sometime we 'kena halau' because we sometimes selling at illegal places to avoid the 'cukai' at market. Life is definitely not so easy.I feel sad whenever watch the kids in those videos especially when they said they not able going to school because their parent cannot afford to send them to school then when asked about their dreams, most of them want to be teachers, engineer and etc.Let's narrowed the scope, not about poor kids in the Philipines but my own race situations.I personally feel proud of my own race (Kenyah Badeng) because I think almost of the Kenyah kids have educations and better than what I had before. But, still there's some family that can't afford send their kids go to school. I really need to think and do something about that. I don't want any Kenyah kids to miss education and not going to school. I want every Kenyah kids will have educations and able to think openly about this world and still grounded with their faith in Jesus Christ.So, this situations make me think, what kind of girl I want to be?



INVEST TIME WITH GOD
No matter how busy I am, I try my very best to spend time with God. Let's be honest here, I always fail on this too.But, I never give up! I find the most suitable time for me which is my evening. I love to spend time with God during this time compare to morning, because I am not a morning person.

DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT ME
Use your time wisely with people that know truly. Some people want to get close with you just because they wanted to know something about you and when the right time come, ehemm ehemm.. time to click the bullet and bang! at yourself! I'm not being so negative about people but be careful with people that you share your life or personal matter with. Not everyone can keep the secret.

KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S 'LOVE YOURSELF' MEAN!
I don't know about you, I always told myself two words everyday. Love yourself, but sometimes my actions is not like what it's mean. It's different so I want to know exactly what's love myself mean.

READ MORE BOOKS
I love to read whenever my free time,which rarely I have now due to my work, my passion and of course, my phone. I try my hardest to keep read book because no one can teach you more than a book.

TRAVEL MORE AND MORE
I know what you want to say now, I don't have money to travel! You don't need much money to travel, what's the most you need is your courage to do it.

CELEBRATE AND EXCITED ABOUT MY SUCCESS AND FAILURES
It's a usual thing to celebrate success but it's unusual to celebrate failures. Failures is a bad thing for sure because it will effect so many thing or area in our life but I love to celebrate this 'failure' is a lesson for me and I will do better next time.

STOP COMPARING MYSELF WITH ANYBODY
I have this 'disease' too and I can't find cure for it. Just kidding! I admit, there's time I feel like I am nothing compare to anybody but when I think back, who is anybody? that girls? that actress? that singer? that whoever? I don't even know how their real life, yet I comparing myself with them. As I grow older, I stop myself comparing myself from anybody especially the succesful stories like travel here, achieved this and that. I just focus on my own journey and enjoy it!

THINK LONG AND HARD BEFORE SAY "I DO".
When love is sweet, everything is yes. I love watching P.Ramlee classic movies and I learned so many things from the movies especially love. The way P.Ramlee talked about love is classic. So when come to 'I DO', I will think long and hard because it's full life commitments.

WORK TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO WORK
In order to survive in this world, we need to earn some money.But, due to our own desire to have this and that, we become live to work, not work to live. God designed us to work, not because it's our sins but he want us to be responsible in this life and all things inside it.

NEVER STOP DREAMING
I'm true believe in this!
No matter what's age you are, it's not too late to achieve or make your dreams come true. Never give up!

SAY "I LOVE YOU" AND MEAN IT
The sweetest three words.
Say these words to people you loved and appreciate and mean it. Don't say it because it's habit or to satisfy your partner but say it because you mean it.

APPRECIATE MYSELF MORE
No one can appreciate yourself more than you.
You may have 'perfect' boyfriend that will take care of you whenever you fall sick or whatever troubles you're in but I'm truly believe in taking care of myself first.For example, I need to take care of myself better so I don't fall sick. It's a basic as a human.

HAVE FAITH IN GOD AND MYSELF
I said have faith in God and myself because,
I always have faith in God, as my number one and then, after that, I believe in myself too. I can do it because God will give me strength.

NEVER STOP LEARNING
Life is never stop. Before I go back to my eternal home, I want to learn everything in this world. Especially about how to improve myself, how to earn money, how to and etc.Then, use all the knowledge to teach others as well.

BE KIND TO OTHER PEOPLE
Kind is never harm anybody. Be kind to other people no matter who they are especially those is dirty and have nothing. I try my best to be kind to other people.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP
No matter what happen in my life, I want to keep remind myself, never ever give up! 
I can always go through whatever problems I had in my life. God will give a ways and all I need to do is asking wisdom to solve the issue and waiting patiently for God's timing.

ALWAYS REMEMBER, I'M STRONGER THAN I THINK
When the life storm hitting me, I want to keep remind myself, I'm stronger than I think.

ENJOY EVERY LITTLE THINGS
Just $0.60 ice cream, no hal! Enjoy it as it's blessing from God too. No matter how small, enjoy it.

ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING EARNESTLY AND HONEST
Never do things half-hearted.Yes, I admit, I sometimes feel like this. I need to do improvement on this.

GIRL WITH INTEGRITY 
Integrity is the most important in people. If you lose it, you lose your life.

So, I hope you enjoy this long post.And, don't forget to share with me whether you want topic like this on my blog?

Love,
Aya



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