My last week as 20s something girl, so what have I learned?

24 November 2017

Hye! Yo!
Actually, I planned to post this article on my birthday but I don't know why I feel like I want to post it one week before my birthday... such a weird feeling but it's okay because eventually, I will share it here too. In one week I will be officially on my last as 20s something girl. I will be upgrading to the higher level. So, I feel waste if I didn't share what I've learned this past 20 year something in my life with a young girl out there. I am going to frank and totally honest with you guy here. I never being fake on my blog as for me, this is the platform for me to share my real life, what I've learned and for you to "forecast" what ahead you. Our story maybe not same but this is the typical kind of a story of one kampung girl that try so hard to become a city girl.
Looking back to my 10 years as a 20s girl, I think I can make a movie or dramas. There's a lot of things had happened. There are so many highs and lows I've been through, countless happy moments and countless sad moments. Being heartbroken one time really HIT me harder and I can say that event of my life really shape who am I today. Not because of what's my ex-boyfriend but that event of my life make me realized, I am capable to stand on my own feet and I've God that always loved me since the beginning.
I've thought of this article since last year but that time, I'm still 28 years old so I'm waiting for this year, the last year as the 20s.
Without further due, here are my 20s year stories and what's I've learned so far. I hope you can read it until the end.

Oh ya, for those that first time here. Let me introduce myself briefly.
My name is Paya Roni, I am Kenyah Badeng girl from Data Kakus, Tatau, Bintulu. I am used to living in rural areas in Sarawak but not the tree house, we lived in the normal house but currently, I lived in Selangor. So, I think that's it.
I will be started this article by sharing short stories from each level of my 20s.

Level 1: My early 20s
I'm excited I've entered what people called adulthood. But this time, I never know what is adulthood. Being the last girl in my family, I'm too depends on my family. I can say, I'm a family girl...hahaha, so, to be honest, I'm not sure what exactly what people called adulthood. My early 20s it's all about a being student and early years as career/working ladies. As a student, I always can't wait to finish my study and entered the work field. But, God has a great and proper plan for me. So, what I have learned are;

#Be patient
Be patient to finish the study, do your best and pray to God for making a way for everything.
Be patient on getting the job too, God already prepared something that you can't be imagined. Just work for it, do your part and don't forget to pray for what you want, be precise to God. Don't ever take study time for granted, enjoy the study time. When I look for a job, I precisely mentioned to God, asked God to make a way. After you get the job, don't forget to ask your family or church to pray for your journey.The key here is patient.

#Enjoy the moment
Please do enjoy your student time. That time will never come back again. Yes, you can back to study after that but the youthful feeling will never be the same.
Take time to learn something that good for yourself, be with friends, being young and fun. Do crazy stuff but never ever do something that ruined your life like having sex with your boyfriend or taking drug or drinking alcohol as it can totally change the direction of life and it will make your life feel miserable.Beside that, that stuffs never good for you. Just enjoy being young but don't do that stuff.Unless you want to change the direction of your life drasticly, then bear the consequences of your poor choices in life for quite sometimes.

#Do your best, don't take this moment for granted
I'm thankful for having an opportunity to study in university. If I can't turn back time, I want to do my best to aim for the 1st class degree so I no need to pay back the student loan. Yes, I mean it! Don't laugh at this. It's so hard to payback the student loan you know but you need to pay it no matter how hard it is. Don't live the life that full of debts that you don't want to pay. Pay it.So, to prevent it, study very well, get that 1st class! Always do your best and don't take any moment for granted. This time will passed and never come back and never happened again.

#Be independent
I love this and I'm thankful I grew up as an independent girl. I am kampung girl after all so being independent is not an option for me. I need to be one and I am glad I'm being independent even though I always depend on my family.

#Don't copy and paste
Haha... yes, I admit this. I did copy and paste during study time. It's not worth at all as I don't really remember what I've learned now. It's not a good habit and it's not good for your life too. Learn, do it by yourself, don't be lazy.

#Love myself

I don't have any idea about love this time. I thought love is just between guy and girl, being lovey-dovey every day...haha, I can't stop laughed at myself now when I think of this but I've learned and this is one of the processes for me to learn about love and love myself harder now.

#Read read read

Read can make you have more knowledge and have different view of this world. If you want to be smart, read. If you want to explore the world, read the book.

#Get your driving license

I'm thankful for my mum to keep pushing me to take driving license before I finish my study...fuh! Thanks We'. She never knows how to drive but she knows how important is that.Thanks to that, I can easily go to work.

#Get your life insurance
Once you start working, get your life insurance. Don't wait any longer as this is one of the musts for you.Anything can be happened.

#Start your investment

Start your investment as early as possible. Don't wait and enjoy the salary for things that unnecessary. Yes, you still can enjoy it but this more than enjoy.My money looking good in my bank account than on my body or feet.You know what I mean?

#Start your saving

Same as an investment, life insurance... saving is must do as early as possible. Don't wait for it, do it early.

Level 2: The peak time ( 25 years)
These years, I'm in the middle of desire to get married or go after my dreams.
I can say, these years is my hardest, sweetest, stressful time ever in my 20s era.I want to get married to my ex-boyfriend but I just started to work and I wanted to work on my dreams. But, this time I don't even know what is my dreams, that's funny, right? Also, I keep searching for what I wanted to do with my life exclude the married things.Then, after break up with my ex-boyfriend, those years was really shaped me into who am I now. Those years, I try harder to find myself, who am I? I don't even know I've lost myself these years. It's not easy to find myself, there's time I gave up on finding myself and let myself get busy with work. I spent most of the hours of my life to do work and get busy so I forget what happened in my real life, outside of work. Then, I never imagined what God has planned for me in this life. While I'm in my heartbroken moment, I got an opportunity to travel to work to Australia and New Zealand. I'm excited and I'm nervous at the same time.And, I'm lucky I bravely go to this different countries for me. From this trip, I know who am I and I truly encounter God in my life. There's no one that really going to understand yourself than you and God. I started to open my eyes bigger and started to dream big, even bigger than before. During this year also, I found this blog,, my baby! I started to do whatever makes me happy and make me excited every day include my work.
So, what I've learned these years;
#Find yourself
When you fall or heartbroken, don't give up! The first thing to do is find God. Pray to God to give you strength to go through this. Don't go search for the lost love but search for God. Only God can make you find yourself.

#Allow yourself to cry when it's hard for you

When the hard time hit, allow yourself to cry but don't be weak kind of girl. Allow yourself to cry not because you lost something but you hold on for a very long time for something that not for you.When I have my heart broken, I cried for almost 2 hours. I feel sad, so sad until I can't feel anything.

#Don't be afraid to do what you never do

I've learned that, in order to make your dream that only you dreamed about, don't afraid to do it. Just do it. I always dreamed to travel solo in Cambodia and I love to do that someday and in March 2016, I make it come true, I go for it and forget my afraid feeling. Just go!

#Travel and explore the new places

During this time, you have your job and earn the money to travel is one of my life goals beside pay all the commitments. I feel worth it because I can explore and open my eyes more wide than I ever imagined.

#Say thank you more

Life can be so hard as you grow old but you have a choice to say thank you to God for everything. In the hardest or happiest moment, say thank you.

#Thank you for the broken heart

As I write this article, I can say that I never hate my ex-boyfriend for make me feel heart broken, but I want to say thank you for broken heart. I've learned and I've found myself.

#Be with the right friend

Most of my life I spent with my friends and it's rarely spend time with my family. I feel sad whenever I realized this now but I'm thankful because I was surround with right and great friends. Thank you everyone.

#Do whatever makes you happy

This is a process. To find what makes you happy is a process, it's not an overnight process. Be patient on finding what's make you happy.

#Do everything passionately

Sometime I failed to do this. But, I tried my very best to always do passionately everything I do.

#Don't take your family for granted

My family is my everything.
I feel so bad for lived far away from them and I feel really bad for always choose other from them.

#Don't spend too much on clothes or material

I love to buy clothes. I've learned that, I no need to spend too much on material to looking good but I need to be know what style I love and just stick with that. Wear something that I am comfortable and feel good. I should spend my money more on something that make me being good human being.

#Learn about how to make investment

I'm thankful that I've a heart to do this during my early time in my career.

Level 3/High level: 25 years and above
I can say that this level of my life, I've found myself, the true me! I love myself more than I ever know. I know what I love, what I hate and where am I going. I don't even need to search for love because I love myself and the right person will see it. So, that's how I found my best friend, my partner, my boyfriend and my future husband, Maclare, let's keep this in our prayers.
These years, what's most important to me is myself, my dreams, my family, my career, travel more. I can say, get married is the last thing on the list until I found my best friend.He makes me believe in love again. He makes me see different kind of guy than what I used to see. He is not perfect neither me. I want to choose to accept and embrace the weakness that we have and choose to be happy with the choices.
I'm happy with what I've done and learned so far. I learned to fall deep down in my life, I crashed my soul, I hate myself but overall, I always try my best to find myself back. There's nothing in the world that hold myself than myself and my faith in God. I've fall, I have broken, I've disappointed, I have struggled in this life and I have face the situation that I never wanted to accept to happen to me. I've learned that, I can't control everything that happen in my life.

#Have fun
Life is all about fun. We make it harder bytryingy to do everything on our own. But, I've learned these past years is learned to surrender everything in God's hand and do our part in very best effort.

#Keep explore
Don't afraid to go somewhere new every time.
Can't afford? You always can find something or somewhere new in your surrounding. I believe there always new thing to explore. Just go!
Remember, when you get older, it's so hard to do all that as a lot commitments.

#Don't stay at one place, go further
In order to get the real taste of life, you need to able to move yourself from your comfort zone now and go further. Keep going, don't stay.

#Love yourself harder..don't be so hard on yourself
The most important thing to do in this life, LOVE YOURSELF!
If you don't love yourself, how can you love God and people? When you failed, don't be so hard on yourself. Learned and never repeat that mistakes again. In this life, we will always keep failed ourselves but don't be so hard on yourself, you can get through this.

#Enjoy the journey
Sometimes the journey is not enjoyable, I have experience that. I can't wait the time has passed so fast but I need to be patient as I can't control the time. When the hard seasons, keep strong and pray to God to give you strength and ability to go through it.Don't try to find the way by yourself, our God is able, He will always make a way when the right time. When the life seems the best time ever, give thanks to God. Never forget Him and enjoy the moment.

#Never stop learn
This life is progress.
Don't stop learn anything in this life.You can learn from people and online or attend any classes, just don't stop learning.

#Passionate about whatever you want to do in your life
Love to take photos just like me? hehe
Do it passionately and love it every minute.Maybe that's your calling.

#Learn about money management
Money is important in this life but don't make him as your master, be the master of the money.Always feel enough with whatever you have. You already have enough.

#Read more books about self-help and don't forget to read your Bible

I don't know about you, I love read books.
One of the genre I really love is self-help books as I learned and feel inspired from that genre.

#Be faithful in God
God is foundation of my life.
I don't know what my life if this is not my foundation. I am not perfect and sometime I'm just can't stop myself for doing something bad in order to experience.

#Take care of yourself very well
I can't laugh at myself when I write this.
Because I know, I'm not taking care of myself very well...hehe but please take care of yourself better than I do.

#Love family and friends
I can't live without my family and friends.
They are my support systems that I always need. I can't imagined my life without them. Appreciate and love them and never ever take them for granted.

#Don't give up even when the hardest time
The hardest time is temporary.
If the hardest time caused by your mistakes, learned from it.
If the hardest time caused by other people, forgive and learned.
That's how this life going. Forgive and learn from mistakes.

Fuhhhh...such a long article.

So, what's my final words as 20s girl?

I'm thankful for these past 10 years in my life. I've learned so much, I've gone quite far and I've fall in love with my favorite people also I've tried my best to be the best of myself. I'm grateful I've made this far.I have reached this far in my life, not because my own effort but some people that closed to me that keep me in their prayers, help me when I helpless or need help and give me an encouragements when I feel like I will give up. I've made this far because of prayers, efforts and encouragements.
Again, this life is full of adventure event, full of challenging events, full of a beautiful day, full of a gray day but what most important is choose to be faithful in God and choose to live the life that honor God, love God and love yourself and love people. Never stop explore, never stop learn, never stop improve, never give up on love and love God with your whole-heart.

Finally, I'm looking forward my life as 30s era.
I can't wait to go to higher level and bring the good values I've learned on 20s and do my best even more and be the better version of myself. My praylist for next 10 years for myself are I will keep upgrading myself, be a better person, be a faithful to God until the end of my life, giving more and serve more, love God more and people even more, love myself the hardest.


Side note: 
The photo above is my old photo. I love that version of me during my 20s so that why I use it. But, now I even love me more just I don't have them latest photo of me.

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