Malaysian Working Mom Blog


The hard lesson I learned from relationship

How's your guys doing?
I hope you guy doing fine and have a great long weekend.
As for me here, ermmm... I'm having not so good long weekend as I'm not feeling so well. I've sore throat and feel so hot.But, whatever it is, I try my best to not just lying down on my bed so I decided to get up and write something on my blog. Yes, I've been away for awhile now, I am trying my very best to keep up with my 2018 resolution which is to write more useful article and consistent about it.So, today I want to share about some hard lesson I've learned from relationship, love relationship to be specific.So, without further due, let's read.

I love being in love...
I love the feeling that one human being care about me.No other feeling can compare with that. That's the best feeling ever.But, I don't know, love is so hard for me. Falling in love is easy and staying is love is super duper uber hard. I don't know why. Maybe some of you guys think, why is hard? love is give-take love and that's it, why its so hard?. Yes, it's easy. Give and take...ermmm. Maybe something wrong with me.If you have fallen in love before, you know what I mean or what I feel. There's nothing wrong with my love relationship, we are in good terms, he is good guy and I love him as much I can. I just don't know if the love that gave him is worth it or I don't know.
I'm lucky I've been in love relationship twice in my life ( as per I write this article but I hope the current relationship is my last ) and I am grateful for that. I've learned so much.Some of it make me reflected or look at myself even more and check on myself and do improvement and some of the lessons make me never forget who am I...
So, here it is.

I expect people will stay the same as a year ago.
I always thought people will stay the same yesterday, today and tomorrow or to be specific, people that you in love yesterday will be stay in love with you like forever. I've learned, I need work hard to make them stay in love and hopefully stay the same. People change a lot and sometime you don't know when they changed and why they change. This is the hardest lesson I've learned. I expect people that I'm in love with will be stay the same like when we first fall in love.Only God is stay the same no matter how much you change. No people will stay the same. I am not saying all people change, maybe some will stay the same, like my family, friends and hopefully my loved one.Change is not bad, sometime change can lead to something else that you never know.
The best yet to come.

I expect people will live based on "My standards".
I believe that everyone have their own standards of life. No matter who you are, you must be have your own standard. I admit that, sometime I tend to expect my partner to live based on my standard but I don't want to live on their standards. It's not fair, I know that. I don't know why am I being like that.I don't really know. Still working hardest on this.

I thought he will agree on everything I said, he is human that have his own opinion too.
As I write on this, I was laughed myself because I always expect my partner to always agree with everything as I said, even up till now.I know this fact but this one really hard for me to keep it low. I try again. Listen and listen.

He cannot read my mind, say the words.
Something that I still need to keep in my mind in my current relationship.
My partner is not mind reader so whatever I have in my mind, I tried my best to say it and let him know how I feel and what I think.Sometime it's so hard because I dont want him to feel hurt with whatever I will tell him especially when the time I am not satisfy with whatever he did. I need to let it out so he will know what am I thinking. I don't know about you but there's time I think he can read my mind so I start to act like "masam muka" or do something that make him notice that I am not satisfy with you. But, I think this is not really good. I still learn to improve on this.

I expect he will understand me ( no one can truly understand you...)
We both two different kind of person, different culture and different family background so I don't expect he will understand me very well. Sometime, he will not even understand me at all and that's make me "sakit hati" but I learned that, I need to let him know which area I want him to understand me more. This is one of the hardest process I've been go through.

He will always support you(not really)
I am grateful my partner seems always support me in everything I do now. Actually, I make him no choice...haha. But, I need to stop expect him will always support me and expect the good feedback all the time. I'm really like when I asked him about his opinion on my wedding photography and he said totally different. He make me want to improve and do better next time.

Treat people like you want to be treated
 I read in Bible, A very important rule:
"Do for others what you would want them to do for you..." - Matthew 7:13
I know, we human tend to treat people that treated us nicely and ignore those who can't do the same to us. I also like that sometimes but I have learned I need to always remember this in my life. Treat people like I wanted they treat me.In a simple way, treat people nicely no matter what.

He will not always be around, he got his own life too.
No one really be with you all the time.
Just YOU will always be with yourself. Stop expecting your loved one will be with you like the Korean actor in the Korean drama, your love one is the REAL human. Sometime he can't make it and sometime he don't able to make it. I am not saying my partner is not always be around but I don't want to rely or lean on him 100% because I know, he is human being like me.Sometime he limited to do for me as I limited too.

Stop expecting people to love you if you don't offer your love in the first place.
If you don't love him at first place, he will never love you. I don't really believe in people that love you even though you not love them, that can be found in the silly and unrealistic drama. Stop living with that expectation. Only God is offer you love even though you don't love Him yet.

It's sound like I'm giving up on love, right? or I sound like I really have a bad experience in love. No, I'm not. I am happy that I have an bad experience in love, I learned a lot from that and I am happy with my current relationship, as I again learn a lot and keep improving myself.It's not an easy process but definitely, I want to give it try.
I am believe in love and I am love being in love.
Overall, don't expect too much on people. Love harder but don't be so hard on people. Follow the flow and always remember that, people can't satisfy you, only God can do that.So, love God first before you love others as people can make you disappointed but God will never disappoint you.


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