Malaysian Working Mom Blog

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The day I realised I have changed my God

Hi there~
If you follow me on IG(@keriitleto), then you already know that I want to say this loud but I choose to say it here on my blog as per usual. I rarely share about discouraging post on my blog. I really want to avoid it actually because there's too much negativity in the internet world so I don't add it up and always I try to be positive.
Just this time,  I want to share the reality of my current life.
Last night, it's one of the worst night ever in my life.I cried so much because I feel so empty inside and I feel my soul just dying. Yes, its Sunday yesterday and I went to church but I still feel so empty and dying inside. I forced myself to go to church to try to make me feel better and I hope the emptiness is gone. I bring my happy face everywhere and tried my best to hide the sorrow of my heart. These days, I constantly struggle to feel truly happy. I lose my focus in my life. I feel lost.
Without I even realised, I have changed my God in my life.
To be really honest, my fiancé has become God in my life these days.
My fiancé
I texted my fiancé about what I'm currently facing.
I really depend on him this moment. I'm used to be a very independent girl but I feel like I don't want to be too independent so "kasi chance" la but "bukan kasi chance lagi", I become too dependent on him. Everything I do always all about him. When I wake up in the morning, he is the one that I'm think of. No longer I spend time with God and pray. I really changed! I know, my fiancé too in my life but I can't make him as my 'God'. God is must be above of all.
I'm blessed because my financé understand what I'm really face and he advice me to set back my focus and spend time with God, not just spend time with him.
So, today I feel better already.



So, how's my first trip to Sabah?

How's your trip to Sabah?
I got this question a lot since I come back from my trip to Sabah.
So, I decided to write about it so you will know and I keep the record of this experience on my blog too. Can you believe this is my first time when to Sabah? Sabah just a neighbour of Sarawak but I never been there before. So, finally, I checked Sabah as one state that I ever visited on my list.
Before that, I think I need to give my explanation on this trip as maybe some of you may be curious whether I went there alone with my fiancé? or what the reason I went there?
Firstly, thank you for your concern and you curious. I respect your concern as we are an engaged couple so it's not healthy to see us go on a trip on our own. So, that's why I think I need to share my explanation.
First, I didn't go there with my fiancé alone but along with our friend, Albert. Thank you, Albert.
Second, the reason I went there because of my fiancé brother's wedding day and I feel curious to see his hometown and his family in real life. So, that's why I decided to go.
I'm deeply sorry if this action let you down or you feel it is not right for you.
Without further due, here is my overall Sabah trip experience.

1. I'm scared of riding a boat
You can go to Sabah by direct flight to Kota Kinabalu Airport or you can transit to Labuan airport, it's cheaper from here and near to my fiance' hometown so that why we choose to fly from KL to Labuan.
and ohhh...I'm really scared! the bumpy sea arghhh but I'm glad I do not vomit.

2. Everything and everyone is new
Everywhere and everyone is new to me.
Except for my fiance's family and some of his aunties that come to our engagement. Other than that, everything is new.  The house, the food, the people and the language is new.
Can you believe I cried before I sleep on the first night? I missed my mum so bad. Luckily my fiance's sister didn't come to the room early so didn't found I was crying. I've been so far before but I never cry like this...haha.

3. I love the layback kind of city
I really love the layback kind of city and my fiance's hometown happen to be that layback.
I love it. But, I love that maybe for some duration only, not forever, I still really love KL.

4. I totally scared of animals
Cannot be helped at all!
My fiance's family has 6 dogs and 1 cat. I don't hate them but I just don't use to live with animals so that why I feel not comfortable at all. But, I'm really trying my best. I even googled how to not scared of animals while I'm there. I want to respect their love for animals. Sometimes, I just can't help especially cat. I just can't! For dogs, I can control it a little bit. I still try my best to love them since they are family too.

5. My life definitely going to be very different
Definitely, Aya!
I will definitely go back to his hometown from now so I think my life will be different. It's weird actually as I not used to live like this. I went to someone's hometown...haha. But, if it's my fiance then I will be alright and happy to go.

6. I don't have a chance to explore Sabah
We going back to Sabah this time because of his brother's wedding so we can't explore the city.
But, I did see a lot of area like Sipitang, Keningau, Beaufort, Menumbok, what else? haha. I heard of these name before but not sure how its look like. But after went there, I can imagine now. I can't wait to explore Sabah more as it's my 3rd home now. First is always Sarawak, second is Kajang, Selangor and third is Sabah now.

7. I drink coffee Tenom every day (5 days straight)
Yes, I love it!
I am happy I can finally get so near with coffee....hahaha

8. Love you more
After going to my fiance's hometown, our relationship getting stronger and now, we started the countdown and do preparation for our big day (coming soon!).



Hold my tears

It's a sad day today.
Again, one of my colleagues is leaving again. I try to hold my tears this time but I just can't take it anymore. I miss everyone and it's so sad to see "everyone" is leaving.
I usually write about my personal life here but today, I feel I need to talk about my work today especially about my colleagues. It’s broke my heart whenever I receive the news my colleagues leaving.
Actually, I was broke inside and try to be strong outside.
I know I can't compare the life journey with others but I just can't help do so. Seeing "everyone" move on, its make me the question "what am I doing with my life"?
To be honest, I am scared! so scared!!
But, I really try to be strong, be brave and don't cry ( big girl don't cry!)
Seeing Kisha, Ijan and Naj leaving makes me miss everyone.

Good luck Naj.

SQA big family.

Arrghhh... I miss everyone.



Craving right now

Arghhhh...I'm not feeling well today but I can't take off my mind of this two handbag I saw before I went back to Sabah. This two handbag caught my eyes. I wanted it so bad now. It's not so expensive but I can't just simply buy it because I need to pay for other things as well...huhu.
I wish I could own this now...
but wait and be patience.


The wedding day of Macrist & Aliceanna

Finally, the event is here.
The wedding day of Macrist and Aliceanna.
Congratulations and God bless your marriage journey. I'm happy I can witness this couple get married.
So, I will share my story during the wedding day.
We are late...haha and I wore red outfit for the first time in my life. I feel so awkward, really! And, I get my hair done


My perfect dress for Good Friday 2019

I can't wait to share story about this dress with you guys!!
I think this is the best dress I ever found this year and its CHEAPEST ever! It's just RM12, yes I bought it at my usual bundle store at Cheras, you can check this bundle store at below:
Why I love this dress so much?
1. Its got pocket
2. I love the pattern
3. The length just perfect
4. It's perfect for my body
So, since I feel this is my perfect dress so here is my photos wearing it with the love of my life...