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I thought I will never feel this feeling again.
But, this time I feel it not because of boys/man but my mum.
After almost one month, my mum decided to go back to our hometown after taking care of me.
I never thought I will feel such a heartbreak. I want my mum to stay with us since my maternity leave left 1 month. But, she wanted to go back because no one really takes care of my dad. Here, I learned bahagiamu, deritaku.
I am too scared to stay alone with my baby. You may say I'm ridiculous and what kind of mum I am. You can say whatever you want. All I want is I want my mum here.
After my mum left, I cried so hard and I don't even have the mood to see my baby but need to take care of him while I'm crying. When I looked at my baby's face, I found my strength. Someone needs me the most, I cannot be cengeng2! 
It's not an overnight or immediate process, I'm really trying to pick up my energy and be stronger. Not to forget, my niece also go back for good. It makes it become double heartbreak for me. I feel so sad when I knew she will go back for good. Usually, I will respect the decision but this time, I feel tak rela. I just don't know why. I guess I become so sensitive after I gave birth. I just don't like it.
I am a stronger woman and I can do all thing in Christ!
Why I said this is my second heartbreak?
I hate being left when I need the most. I feel the hole in my heart and I just can't accept it. But, I am a big girl, don't cry!
As I write this post, its been 4 days since my mum and niece going back to Sarawak. I still missed them  A LOT! But, life must go on and I need to be stronger than yesterday.
To all women out there,
no matter what your relationship with your mum before, you will need her the most after you gave birth, trust me!
So, appreciate your mum!
Just an update, I feel a bit better now.
Thanks to friends and family that give me encouragement. Love you all.

Love,
Aya

The day I feel heartbreak and cengeng

31 July 2020


Hi there!
I am a BIG fan of a planner. I have the digital version on my phone but I still love the physical one as well. 
This planner was introduced by my friends/colleagues, Fath and Naj last year or 2018. They bought me a planner for my birthday. Thank you, ladies.
Now, I still love it.
But, I didn't manage to buy it for the first half of 2020. But, I think it its okay lah as we know first half of 2020 most of the time we stayed at home

Best planner I ever used | Mossery

28 July 2020

Hi semua!
Hari ini saya membaca tentang sesuatu yang menginspirasikan post ini.

The Day I Saved My First RM10,000

Kamu juga boleh membaca article/blog post ini di SINI.
Baca headline pun sudah cukup "impressed me!" dan semestinya saya juga mahu save that much money. I've spend my saving to buy my first house before so its 'hard' to build my saving again. But, I must do it for a better future.
Jadi, tanpa melengahkan masa atau just wish for it, I just get started.
But, how? macam mana lah??
First of all, here what you need to do. I am no expert but in order to achieve this, you need to have this first.

1. Matlamat menyimpan ( Ask yourself why?)
2. Target yang mahu disimpan ( How much you want to save? Letak amount)
3. Berapa lama mahu menyimpan untuk mencapai 2 ( Berapa lama untuk mencapai amount? be realistic ya)
4. Mulakan langkah( start small, no need to seksa yourself so much)

Jadi, untu saya, saya mulakan dengan langkah mudah iaitu mengunakan Maybank2u.com CREATE GOALS.
Cara-caranya adalah.

Langkah 2: Masukkan username dan password
Langkah 3: Cari Create Goal ( seperti dibawah)
Langkah 4: Apabila sudah click Create Goal seperti dibawah. Seterusnya, isikan semua details bergantung kepada kamu punya goal.

Category - Boleh pilih mengikut apa yang kamu mahu
Goal name - Kamu boleh buat nama goal kamu mengikut apa yang kamu mahu
Commitment - Ada dua iaitu monthly amount dan duration. Sila pilih.
From Account - Sila pilih akaun Maybank kamu. First deposit dan monthly amount/duration amount akan ditolak dari akaun ini.
Goal Amount - Berapa target kamu
First deposit - First kamu simpan. Akan ditolak terus dari akaun kamu
Monthly amount - Jumlah yang akan ditolak setiap bulan
Starting date - Bila kamu akan bermula
Duration - Berapa lama kamu mahu menyimpan untuk goal ini.

Setakat ini, saya sudah create 3 goals. Saya berharap saya dapat mencapai goal ini dengan jayanya.
Jadi, tunggu apa lagi mulakan sekarang.
Semestinya saya akan update disini my progress on this goal.

Love,
Aya




Cara-cara menyimpan duit dengan Maybank2u



If I can, I want to forget the moment our baby sick.
The moment our baby is sick for the first week since his arrival in this world.
This is too painful in my memories.
But, who am I to delete all these memories. I can delete it but not forever.
I will delete all these photos on my phone soon because it make me sad.












I wish I never see this for entire of my life.










































After all, thanks to God, he is well now.
My only wish and prayers now is he growing up well and don't get sick anymore. It's too painful for me.
God, please protect our son and always bless him.

Desperate mother

First time mum challenge

26 July 2020

Follow Me @keriitleto.paya