Malaysian Working Mom Blog

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28.7.21

5 Self care ideas for working mom during this pandemic

 


When thinking of self-care, most of us will be thought of as a go-to spa, saloon, and etc. That is totally correct. You are right!

But, now the pandemic is here, we can't go for that usual self-care places and I think need to use to new kind of new norm of self-care.
For me, self-care is doing something you love every day and be happy with it. 
I'm a working mom and I can say, my everyday life schedule is packed. I start working at 9am and usually have 2 meetings in the morning (depends but this is maximum) and 2 or 3 meetings(depends but this is maximum) in the evening. In the middle of that, I need to cook for lunch and sometimes put my baby to sleep whenever he feels so manja.
After work, no need to say anything. The moment I finish work, I will start to take care of my son and cook dinner. Usually, my hectic schedule will slow down at 9pm. So, I will either take this time for my self-care time or I will do it in the early morning. Its depends on my mood that time. 
If I still have the energy, I will do it and if not, I will sleep.

So, here are some ideas of self-care that you can do while you stay at home.

1. Order your favorite food or drink
Nowadays there you can order your favorite food and drink easily via is GrabFood, FoodPanda and etc. I usually order using GrabFood and so far I am satisfied with their services. But, need to try and error because never try the food or drink at that restaurant before. I love to order my coffee.


2. Go for groceries shopping
I love to shop but I hate to see my money getting lesser haha but its therapy for me nowadays. I usually went for groceries shopping while my husband take care of our baby because we can't go out together now. I love groceries shopping because I can buy anything ( needs) we want.


3. Listen to your favorite song

For this, you need a little trick! 
When I was berpantang, my husband bought me wireless Bluetooth earphones and this really make the difference. I usually just put earphones at one ear so another ear can hear my baby if anything.

4. Watch movies/dramas you love with your husband

I love to watch movies or drama with my husband, most recently we love Good Doctor series, we really enjoyed it together. I love to hear my husband laugh at the same things with me. We will watch this after we put our baby to sleep. This one not just my self care but our self care too.

5. Write a journal

but you can do it digitally nowadays. As for me, I love writing in my journal book. I have many now haha

CONCLUSIONS
No matter how busy you are, always take time to do your self-care ya! Don't wait until you feel burn out and then only take action. Please take care of yourself first!

21.7.21

6 common challenges as working mom & how to overcome it

Hello, my fellow working moms,

How are you today? I hope you are well.

As for me, thank God, I am okay and happy with my life now.

Before this, I always feel anxious about everything in this life but recently I read the devotional plan, Who controls your thoughts? This devotional plan really makes me change my mindset.

As a working mom, there are a lot of things going on head in one day, right? As a human, we always had hectic schedule in our life and then when we become a wife, its double and then when become a mom, its triple busy...haha

So, today post I want to share 6 common challenges as a working mom and how to overcome it.

Please note, I am not expert on motherhood but I've done a lot of reading and research about this, so I hope this will be useful for you.

Enjoy reading.


6 COMMON CHALLENGES ARE,

1. Constantly try to maintain a work-life balance.

Being a working mom can be extremely tedious and exhausting. Besides having to handle their professional work, we also have to tend to our household chores and look after their kid. This drastically affects their work-life balance and takes a toll on their emotional as well as mental health.


2. Constant struggle with guilt

Mothers are truly one of a kind. While as an individual, they have dreams and aspirations, but according to the societal norms, like mothers, they must also be the sole nurturers in the family. This is why there is a constant and ceaseless feeling of guilt that remains in the conscience of all mothers, where if they choose their careers over their home, they are placed at a questionable position.


3.Always an underlying conflict between what she wants and what she must do.

After you become a mother, this is what you need to deal with. But, don't feel sad. There a way to do what you want. As for me, I love blogging and I will do it whenever my baby sleep or my husband take care of our baby while I'm writing. Actually, the process is not easy but I will make time for whatever I want.


4.Never-ending efforts to multitask

 Another common challenge faced by working women is the constant need to multitask. Whether they are working at an office or from home, they must constantly tackle their time between their personal and professional life.


5. Limited time for ‘Self’

A working woman, while performing the role of the mother and a professional, forget to invest any time on herself. There is no recreation period for them, even when they are on work leave. It’s either this or that. There is just no time for oneself.

As for me, I will make time for myself on the early morning or late night.


6.The need to be perfect all the time 

Well, surely working women are the modern-day representation of a superwoman, however, they cannot be perfect all the time. The societal expectations and the need to be perfect all the time can sometimes take a great toll on mothers, especially the ones who are also working.


WAYS TO OVERCOME THE CHALLENGES


While it may seem extremely difficult to break away from the troubles of being a working mother as well as a full-time mother, there is always a solution to tackle these situations in life. That being said, if you’re a working mom and are facing similar challenges, here are a few ways you can overcome them with just some extra effort.


Organize and plan

 I always do my best to organize and plan my work or to do beforehand so I can manage my time efficiently. For example, I will plan our menu every Sunday evening so I no need to think about what to eat during work day and same goes to my son's menu. I feel by plan beforehand its really help. But, always remember there's no perfect plan so take it easy.


Work as a team with your husband

Always involved your husband in everything that is related to your family especially your child. As for me and my husband, whenever there's a checkup for our son, he always comes teman us, even though he cannot go in but knowing that he is there for us is the best feeling ever.


Develop a good relationship with relatives/friends around you

Just in case of emergency, they can help you to take care of your child while you are away for work. For me, I have my friend as our babysitter so its really help me a lot. I no need to think of my baby when I'm at work.


Make sure always complete or sharing your tasks with your colleagues

Work never ends so my principle is always trying to finish my work and sharing my task's progress and location just in case if there an emergency happens they know where and what the progress.


CONCLUSIONS

I know, these challenges are not easy to go through but embrace them, embrace motherhood. Always remember, you are the mother of beautiful child and they need you to be happy.

Also, always remember why you become a working mom at first place.

Don't be so hard on yourself okay?


Love,

Aya



16.7.21

The REAL reasons I'm back to work


Hello, my fellow moms!

How are you today? I hope you doing well. If you're first time here, welcome and enjoy!

If you are frequent here, thank you so much for visit my blog again.

Today, I want to share the REAL reason I'm back to work or why I want to be a working mom again after taking a break for 2 months? 

I hope this post will inspire you. Without futher due, let's get started.


Choose to be a working mom is never easy especially if you are a first-time mom.

I still remember my first day as a working mom...

I gave birth to our son in July 2020 and back to work after two months of maternity leave in September 2020. The feeling is I just can't describe. I started to try my best to balance family and work until I forgot something important which is my mental health.

As a working mom, I always do my best to be a good mom and wife everyday and as an employee, I also try my best to be good in what I do. But, I am not perfect! 

My work demands my focus and at the same time, my son just 3 months baby, he also needs much attention as well. As a first-time mom, I really don't know how to balance all this two, especially my work. I started to feel something wrong with my mental health because I always feel anxious and depressed about my work every day, it's become really unhealthy.

In December 2020, I decided to quit because I just can't go on anymore. During my notice period, my depression getting worst until I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder (MDD) and this really makes me feel my decision to quit my job in December 2020 is right.

I left my job on February 2021 and while being a jobless mom or during this break, I reflect on so many things. I started to think about what I really want in my life especially do I want to be a working mom again? During my break, I finally realized that I can't stop being a working mom now because there are so many things that I need to do as a working mom.

So, here I reveal the real reasons I'm back to work and many some moms out there can relate and its okay.


1. I want to settle my bad debts/loan

I'm not perfect at my money management, I make a lot of money mistakes before I get married so I pay for the consequences now. I had few bad debts which are credit card, personal loan, and my student loan (PTPTN still ongoing payment). These bad debts are some unwise decisions I make in my life and I need to face the consequences now. I put this as #1 because I really want to settle this first.


2. My child's future

I want to contribute to my child's future. I do saving for his education since he was just a newborn. I've learned from my parent and I don't want my child will face the money issue in the future.


3. I'm comfortable having my own money

I'm used to working and getting my own money then spend it on whatever and wherever I want ( no lah, I spend it to pay some of our bills and our living expenses). I used to manage my own money and asking money from my husband to buy what I want seems weird and I feel burden when doing so. It's not bad or you cannot do that, but I feel more comfortable having my own money.


4. I want to contribute to our family economy

From my reading and research, one of the highest reasons why there are family problems is the money issues. When the family having money issues, it's hard to live comfortably and peacefully. Since I still have bad debts and I know that my husband can't afford to pay them on my behalf so I choose to be a working mom so he is less burden and no need to overtime like crazy and he also can have time with our son and me.


5. I want to contribute to my community

Community is important in our life. I won't talk much about this as it's so personal, just between me and God. But, it is one of the reasons I want to back to work again.


6. Work for my own future

We never know what will happen in this life so, in order to prepare for unexpected events happen, I want to keep working and save money for my own future or my family's future. As long as I still got the work skills, I will do it.


Conclusion

No matter what the reason you are back to work, it's valid! It's your life. Just do what the best for your life, never compare with others.

And, no matter you choose to be a working mom or SAHM, you're a good mom.

One day, I plan to be a SAHM mom because I want to focus on my child's development and I want to be with my child every day and at the same time and earn a living by working on my blog and small business.

For now, let's strive for being working moms and don't be so hard on ourselves. Always do your best.

Love,

Aya




14.7.21

How to survive as WFH mom during MCO/PKPD

 

Hello there my fellow moms! 

How are you, Mom? I hope you doing fine. Every day, as you were aware, the COVID-19 cases in our country keep increasing and seem never decrease to less than 4000. As on the news, the PKP/ MCO will be 'end' when the cases below 4000/day but now, it's always above that. So, sad!
As working moms, mostly we work from home(WFH) now, and based on this condition, we will continue to WFH. I know, being a mom and working at the same time and at the same place, its never easy. It needs good know-how or tips to do it together.

I believe many of us working mom doesn't have a helper or in house babysitter while you're working and I truly understand that. I had my in-house babysitter, which is my friend and I am so grateful for this! It really helps me a lot as a working mom. If you have a helper/in-house babysitter just like me, then that will be super useful as you can concentrate while you're working.

But, as for me, I actually can't really concentrate because whenever I heard my son cried, even though I know my babysitter with him, naluri keibuaan tu kuat betul, mesti I want to go see him...haha. 

For those who does not have a helper/in-house babysitter, I know now it's the hardest situation but believes that you can do this ya! 

All these tips based on my reading, research and some of it based on my own experience as well.

I hope it can help you a bit.


#1. Stay calm

In current situation, everyone definitely feel chaos/angry! We stayed at home for more than a month, but at the same time, we still working as per usual, the stress that we usually have at work still or keep coming but there no way to release it. During this hardest time, we need to always remind ourselves to stay calm and being creative on how to release stress, I know it's not that easy to do that but no choice we need to do in order to maintain our sanity.

How you can do this?

For me, I will take time to go out ( drive) to our nearby area and just watch the outside world. I feel relieved after I do that. If you have your kid with you, you can go outside your house like go to parking, mailbox or just go outside before the pagar to breath the air.


#2. Plan and prepare

When you WFH mom, you need to handle 2 big things in our house which are housework and work. These 2 things need your focus and attention. Before this, when we go to the office to work, we can separate it as we went to office and we can focus on work and when we come back home, we focus on our housework. But now the situation is so different. Both you need to do in your own house. Its feel so crazy, I feel you.

How can you do this?

Usually, for housework, we will deal with food, drink, wash dishes, clothes and tidy up our house including taking care of our kids. For things that we can plan and prepare like food and drink, prepare that early every week. I mean, you go for groceries shopping on Sunday, prepare the food for next week. For wash dishes, clothes and tidy up the house, don't be so hard on yourself. Do it whenever you can and ask for help from your husband. 


#3. Quiet time with God

For Christian, we called it devotional time but I love to call it quiet time with God because this is a time where I spend time with God on my own. Praise God and read the scriptures. Because these scriptures will help or guide me through the day.

For others, you can spend a quiet time with God too according to your religion practices.

Why do this?

During this hardest time, it so hard to stay sane! The only way to stay sane is spend time with God, know that God is in control.

How can you do this?

For me, I dedicate time to do this since I had my son. I will do it from 6am - 7am every day. During this time, I praise God with songs, read scriptures and read my reading plan. After that, I will pray/talk to God about my life, what's my plan, my worries and etc, just say everything.


#4. Ask help

If you feel like you can't do it anymore or you almost can't do it anymore, please please ask help. Don't afraid to do so. If you having a problem with work, you can let your manager know and if you having a money problem, you can ask your family or if they can't, they so many way people want to help nowadays like the bendera putih movement. Don't be afraid to ask for help.


#5. Enjoy the moment

I know, it's hard to enjoy this kind of moment. But, we need to enjoy it, try to look from other perspectives, the positive side of this situation. When we WFH, after work, we can spend time with family because we are not traveling to work. The traveling time we use to spend with our family. How great is that?

Whenever I feel so down with my WFH, I always remind myself, this moment will never come again after the pandemic is over, so while we at it, enjoy it to the maximum so no regret in the future. 


Conclusion

I know the situation is hard now but please remember that this will be pass someday and definitely you going to miss it especially the working from home because you can see your kids every day and also you no need to make up to go to work haha

While we at it, enjoy it and always remember that, God is in control and everything will be okay.


I hope this post can make you feel better and encouraged!

Thanks for reading.


9.7.21

WFH vs WFO, which one I prefer?


Happy Friday my fellow moms and my readers! Welcome to my blog!

I am so happy to share this topic with you guys as this is our current situation right now.

When we first need to wfh last year, I feel like its a dream come true!! I've been wishing to able to wfh very long time ago.

But, the first week was very tough. I can't really adapt to the new norm. I don't know how to discuss virtually, I'm used to face-to-face discussion, and this new way of work it's really hard. Then, after months, sowly, I get to adapt to the new norm. Now, I can say, I am used to wfh now.

So, let's see the pros and cons of WFO and WFH.


Work From Office ( WFO)

Pros;

- We can use all facilities at office

- We can discuss face to face

- We can enjoy being at office, talk to our colleagues

- 'Forget' our chaos at home for few hours

- Coffee time

- enjoy meal time without interrupted and still hot


Cons;

- Need to be at office fixed time

- Need to travel, so going out early

- Send our child to babysitter


These are the pros and cons of WFO I can think of. I forget how it feels already going to the office every day haha. But, I did go to the office a few times now but it's not routines.


Work From Home (WFH)


Pros;

- No need travel so can do housework before start work

- I can do 5 minutes hugs with my son

- I cook our meal almost every day

- I can see my baby development

- I can hear and know what my baby doing

- I can wear whatever I want


Cons;

- Same environment

- No colleagues

- No coffee time

- No printer

- i cant stand when i hear my baby crying, I will go entertained him no matter what.


Conclusions


For now, I enjoy the moment of WFH.

While we are on it now, I am trying to enjoying this moment and never take it for granted!

When the wfo come, i will be prepared mentally and physically( baju muat lagi x? hahaah

So, how about you? Do you prefer wfh or wfo?

Please share on comment.

7.7.21

Food preparation tips for working moms


Hello Moms!

How are you today? I hope you doing so well. 

This week, I'm going to share tips on food preparation. As working mom, sometimes we overwhelming with food preparation things. Usually, I will go for groceries shopping on Sunday evening and after that, I will do the preparation ( like washing, cutting, susun). Its took time but its save a lot of time during the weekdays.

Please note, I am not perfect on this. Sometimes I do take out because I am too tired to cook hahaha.

So, without futher due, here are tips based on my experience,

Pre-groceries shopping

  • Eat first
  • Create planned menu
  • List out all items need to buy in order to cook that menu
  • After you have done this, then only can go shopping. If not, you will put everything on the trolley.


During groceries

Only buy what on the list. Even though during your shopping trip, tercetus idea.



After groceries

  • Wash all the items
  • Cut it
  • Store it properly, using zip lock or bekas.
  • Keep the list of what you have in the fridge
  • I do labelling manually sekarang for easy track




My assistance, Karl Sibal yang comel dan rajin buka peti sejuk.





Hopefully tips ni berguna utk anda.
Jika anda ada tips lain, sila kongsikan juga.

Jumpa lagi.

2.7.21

10 Lessons I learned on my first year being a mom


Hello, my dear friends!

Welcome to my blog for the first time reader and thank you for visit my blog for those not first time hehe

Yesterday is my son's first birthday so meaning it's been 1 year since I become a mom. There are a lot lessons learned and in this post, I will be share it.

Without further due, let's check it out.


WHAT ARE THE LESSONS I LEARNED FROM BEING A MOM?


1. Stronger heart

Before I'm being a mom, I always thought I'm having a strong heart and I can face any challenges but when I become a mom, I know I need to have a stronger heart as one human being depends on me now. In the early day, I can say, I don't have a stronger heart, I cried whenever I went to NICU, and the nurses and doctors calm me down ( maluuu when I think back). 


Why need to have a stronger heart?

You will face many unexpected challenges while you with your newborn but always remember don't be so fragile. You can do this!


2. Calm down

I still remember those early days when my baby just a newborn, whatever happens to my baby, I will panicking and crying, I already forget what is calm down. Slowly, I learned how to calm down whatever happens, everything will be okay.


Why need to calm down?

Again, the same reason as above. You will face many unexpected challenges and sometimes the challenges will make a storm so you need to calm down to face it well.


3. Use common sense

We are human so we have common sense. Whenever you see something wrong with your baby and your sense feel something wrong, immediately bring him to the hospital. 


Why need to use common sense?

What I mean here is don't waste time to try this and that, use your common sense.


4. Enjoy the moment

I can say, I really enjoyed my moment being with my newborn son until now. I can't really think how can I live without my son now.


5. Everything will be okay

Every challenges will be have the solution so during the hardest time, always remember 


6. You no need to follow others, do what you can do

Especially in breastfeeding. Its really recommended to direct breastfeeding your baby but if your condition or you won't do it because of whatever reason, its okay. No need to follow others, do what you can do!


7. Don't do it all alone

Taking care of your baby is not just your responsibility. Always involved your husband since the beginning. Always ask your husband to help you, maybe he just sit there because he don't know what to do, teach him so he can do it next time.


8. Never stop dreaming

Even though you became a mom, never stop dreaming. As for me, I always dream to write useful articles that can help/inspired many people and at the same time, I dream for my family too.


9. Love your body

This one is the hardest lesson. I tried to love my body, I can go back to my previous body shape if I want but for now, I am too lazy for that. Someday I will back to my previous shape or even better.


10. Communicate well with your husband

To go through this parenthood, always communicate well with your husband. Don't keep it to yourself.


CONCLUSIONS

After one year, I love being a mom. I missed my son even I went out for few minutes.

1.7.21

Karl Sibal 1st Birthday

 

Hi everybody!!
Last time I said permanently goodbye to my "blogging career" but now I know, writing is one of my passion and I can't stop thinking about writing on my blog.
So, I decided to be back with the new name and a new look but use the free platform so I won't need to leave again soon due to the cost...
For the first post for a fresh start, it all about my son. We just celebrated his 1st birthday!!
I am so thankful we can make it!
So, here is how's our day going.

Morning
Good morning birthday boy!

We went to the clinic for vaccination for 1 year. He cried so hard.




My husband and I went to buy a birthday cake for him at @rarakitchy, a beautiful last minute cake


Afternoon
Do the decorations and take a nap with our baby




Evening
Birthday celebrations with family via video calls









Just like that, our son is 1st year old!!
How times fly!
But, we are so grateful and blessed.

Thank you for everyone's wishes.
God bless.