My uninspired life

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Lately, I feel my life is uninspired!
I feel bored with my life.
I feel bored with everything ( except my fiance).
And, I easily get sick now. Whenever I feel stressed at work, it will affect my personal life too. I can't shut down my head. It keeps thinking and my anxiety about work come again.
I'm stressed about my upcoming wedding too. I've anxiety about it too. I try to calm down myself by reading the Bible, motivational quote, pray and try to remember that God is in control. I usually do all these but it just can't get away. I feel like my head is going to explode soon.
I regret so many previous decision as well. Its effected me now.
I always cry on my own now. I feel like my life is not like I wanted now.
I getting fat each day and I hate it. I can't control myself.
I getting uninspired day by day. I want to be a private person but that's not me at all. I am a very open person.
I feel like I'm pushing myself doing what I don't really love.
I want to do what I love but it can't afford my lifestyle. I trapped myself in this life cycle.
Oh dear God, release me from this cycle and lifestyle. I want to live a truly happy life.
It's not that I'm not grateful with what I have now. I'm grateful but I'm human that want to change sometimes.
For now... I will just try my best to life.

Love,
Aya

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